Purple Heels

(A devotional thought from the book One Smile, One Heart)

The words of a stranger poisoned my teenage heart.

I had finished my four-hour shift in the shoe department at Target. I was feeling good. It was payday and I had a date in a few hours. I decided to try on the pair of purple heels I had been eyeing all morning. They would stylishly match my purple skirt. I slipped on the right shoe and admired it in the floor mirror. As I bent down to put on the left shoe, I sensed someone moving into my personal space. I glanced up to see an older woman stop beside me. I stood and backed away a few steps.

“What happened to your arm?” she blurted.

I was used to that question so I smiled and said, “I was born with one arm.”

But the stranger didn’t return the smile. She just kept standing there, staring at me, staring at my prosthetic arm. I took another step back.

Finally she spoke. “Well, someone in your family must have done something really bad for you to have been born with an arm like that.” Then the woman turned and walked out of the shoe department.

I stood motionless in the purple heels, watching her walk away.

Perhaps the poisonous words had gurgled in the stranger’s heart for a long time, waiting for exactly the right recipient. When she spotted me, she lurched into action—because I was perfect—young, vulnerable, impressionable. She heaved and the burning words expelled from her heart and spewed all over me. Did the woman feel relief? Did she feel contentment? Did she feel regret? Did she feel anything?

The thought that my arm could be a punishment had never entered my mind. My parents always told me I was special, that God made me the way I was for a reason. I accepted that and never questioned it. But now I was standing in purple shoes, drenched in poisonous words. They didn’t drip off like water; they stuck on like acid. They ate through my skin and oozed into my heart.

I bought the purple heels. I went on my date. I continued going to school and to work and to church and to extra-curricular activities. Life as a teenager was a new adventure and I was happy. Until bedtime… when the room turned dark each night… and I grew still… and my world became quiet… and I felt the gurgling of the poisonous words in my heart.

From childhood I was drawn to the inspiring verses and stories within the Bible. Even at a young age I read it almost daily and set personal goals to memorize parts of it. I escaped often to the shore of my grandpa’s pond where I kept a small Bible in a plastic bag under an overturned canoe. It was there, soon after my encounter with the stranger, that I stumbled upon the words in John Chapter 9.

As Jesus went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life” (John 9:1-3 NIV).

My mouth fell open. I read the story again. I couldn’t believe the clarity of the words on the page! They were a direct message of explanation from my Heavenly Father to me. My arm was not a punishment issued to my family for doing something horrible. My arm was part of a plan to bring glory to God! I had been chosen to display God’s work to the world. What an honor.

That night as I lay still in the darkness and quiet, I felt no gurgling in my heart. Only joy.

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“Above all else, guard your HEART, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).

New Arm- Part 3 (Building the Arm)

For those who might be interested, I invite you to walk with me through the tedious process of getting a new prosthetic arm. I’m journaling the steps and my experiences along the way. You can interact with me by sharing thoughts and comments, if you wish.

I facilitated a three-hour leadership seminar recently in Auburn, Alabama. Community leaders were seated behind tables arranged in a “U.” For a full hour and thirty minutes I spoke in the center, moving about and interacting with the 35 participants. Just before I dismissed the group for a 15-minute break, I told a personal story about being born with one arm to help illustrate a point. During the break, a woman approached me.

“Until you mentioned your prosthetic arm, I had not noticed it!” she said. “I had checked out your cute outfit and even your shoes. But I did not see your arm!”

This happens to me quite often. Half of the credit goes to the great prosthetics people who help me so much. The other half of the credit goes to the slick operator with 54 years of experience.

6/20/16- The lower arm was made when I arrived. It was very thin and had no outer lamination. Adan (Prosthetist), Caitlin (Prosthetic Resident), and Brad (Fabrication Manager) worked diligently with me for seven hours.

• We concentrated on positioning and mounting the elbow. Two separate pieces were involved—the locking unit on the inner side next to my body and the joint unit on the outer side. These connected the upper arm to the lower arm. Once again, I had to make sure the angle of the lower arm when bent was where I wanted it (left to right).

• We decided how much to cut out on the top side of the lower arm at the elbow to allow for flexion (how far up I can bend the arm).
• The gap between the upper arm socket and the inner elbow unit will be filled in with foam and laminated over. This will make the shape and size of the upper arm match my real right upper arm.

7/1/16- The inner and outer elbow units were laminated in when I arrived and the gap between the upper arm socket and the inner elbow unit had been filled in and laminated over. For eight hours, Adan, Caitlin, and I worked on suspension and line-of-pull. These are difficult to explain, but I am going to try.

• Suspension is how the prosthesis is held onto the body. Straps attach the prosthesis to a harness. The harness goes across my back and under my right arm. Line-of-pull involves attaching additional straps to cables that operate the elbow and hand.
• The straps, harness, and cables have to be positioned in exactly the right places and at exactly the right angles for me to be able to operate the prosthesis smoothly. A slight change in a position or angle can make a huge difference in the ease or difficulty of operation. I’d put on the arm, I’d attempt to operate the arm, they’d evaluate, I’d take it off, they’d make a slight adjustment, I’d put on the arm, and repeat the cycle—all day.

• We made progress, but we didn’t yet find that sweet spot. When we do, I will be able to use shoulder and upper left arm movements to raise and lower the forearm, lock and unlock the elbow, and open and close the hand.

7/15/16- I hung out with my friends at Fourroux Prosthetics for eight more hours.

• We finalized suspension and line-of-pull.
• Adan sewed padding on the harness in spots that were uncomfortable.
• I decided exactly where I wanted the hand positioned most of the time. (I’ll still be able to manually rotate it at the wrist slightly to type.) They drilled a hole just above the wrist unit, fed the hand cable through it to hide it, and brought it back out near the elbow.

• I “took delivery” of the arm (paid my portion) for insurance purposes so I could take it home and wear it for a few days. I will make sure it works like I want it to before they do the outer lamination.

8/31/16- I dropped off the arm to Adan. I was not able to test it as originally planned because the hand made a noise like fingernails on a chalkboard when I opened it. I couldn’t stand it! We are not sure what is going on. He will have the team get on it right away. No rush on my part though. I am going to be speaking several places and leading tours over the next two months. I won’t be able to return until November.

Thanks for walking with me through this process. What are your thoughts about the building phase?

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“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” (Psalm 18:32 NIV)

 

Read “New Arm- Part 1 (Picking Out Body Parts)” here:
https://onesmileonearm.wordpress.com/2016/05/04/new-arm-part-1-picking-out-body-parts/

Read “New Arm- Part 2 (Designing the Arm)” here:
https://onesmileonearm.wordpress.com/2016/06/18/new-arm-part-2-designing-the-arm/

New Arm- Part 2 (Designing the Arm)

For those who might be interested, I invite you to walk with me through the tedious process of getting a new prosthetic arm. I’m journaling the steps and my experiences along the way. You can interact with me by sharing thoughts and comments, if you wish.

I know my life motto is “Never Say I Can’t,” but I’m going to open up and be totally honest with you right now. There are two things I can’t do. First, I can’t clap. I wish I could clap. I can put my hands together and pretend to clap with others in an audience, but it doesn’t make a sound. Sometimes I clap my right hand on my leg or borrow a family member’s hand to clap against. And second, I can’t scratch my right arm. Rubbing up against a door jamb works pretty well, or directing my husband where to scratch. But thanks to prosthetics, I can do everything else.

On 5/30/16, Fourroux Prosthetics called to tell me my body parts had arrived. Normally shipment doesn’t take a month, but a merger between two major prosthetics manufacturers (Hosmer and Fillauer) slowed the delivery.

On 6/8/16, I met with Adan (Prosthetist) and Caitlin (Prosthetic Resident) to design my new arm. Eli (Intern) and Brad (Fabrication Manager) were also on hand to help. (These are the people I am referring to throughout this post when I say “they.”) It was a long seven-hour appointment, but it was the best day I’ve ever experienced in a prosthetics facility. They allowed me to hang out in the lab and watch the entire process! I’ve worn a prosthesis for 54 years and this is the first time I’ve gotten to see how one is made.

UPPER ARM:

• Adan made a plaster cast of my upper left arm.

• They poured plaster in it to create a mold.

• They heated a heavy plastic sheet in an oven and laid it over the mold to create the test socket.

                          

• Once cooled, Eli removed the plaster mold from inside the test socket.

• Adan worked with me to get the test socket to fit just right. He heated problem spots with a propane torch to make them flexible. Then he reshaped them with his hands. He cooled the spots with an air compressor before having me retry the test socket. They cut back areas of the test socket from under my arm and from the “wings” on the top front and top back until it was comfortable. They flared out the edges to prevent skin contact with blunt edges. This tweaking endeavor took approximately twenty tries. This part of the arm design is stressful for me because I have to decide when it is just right. Then it gets laminated and I am locked in forever! 🙂